


One More Thing That's Wrong With the 21st Century.

by MotherInLore



Series: So, I Guess my Muse wants Marvel, now... [6]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Children's Stories, Gen, Humor, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-18 01:21:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14842878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MotherInLore/pseuds/MotherInLore
Summary: Steve and Bucky are not happy to learn about a source of misery that didn't get wiped out when polio did.





	One More Thing That's Wrong With the 21st Century.

“I mean, we were hiding out from murderbots on this farm, and there’s a million things to worry about and then this … thing… right in my face, y’know? I didn’t want you to find out about it like I did.”

“Yeah,” Bucky agrees, “That’d be rough.”

“I mean, I’m not surprised really, that we’ve still got corrupt politicians and racist yahoos and things,” Steve went on, “but this is just vicious. There is no reason this shouldn’t have died out decades ago.”

“But it didn’t,” his friend sighs.

“Worse. There’s movies now! And- and furniture! And pictures on shirts! Shirts for adults!”

Bucky shakes his head gloomily. “Worse’n the Dodgers. Sister Phillipa is laughing at us from on high.”

Sam figures this is about as much old-man ranting as he wanted to listen to before it was late enough to drink. He shoulders himself into the living room “What’s all this, now?”

“Sister Phillipa used to read us a bedtime story every night at the Home,” Steve says. “And she always let the littlest kids pick the story. And she thought Kipling was too pagan.”

“So she’d pick this horrible cutesy pablum instead,” Bucky cuts in. “The babies didn’t know any better, they thought it was a treat to get somethin’ that wasn’t Bible stories. But if you were there for long enough...”

“Yeah,” Steve agrees. “And, I mean, I’ve seen kids’ books these days. Some of them are pretty disturbing, but I figured, well, at least the kind of thing Sister Phillipa liked isn’t in fashion anymore. And then we’re hanging out at the Barton farm, one of the kids runs to the bookshelf and pulls out-”

“Winnie-the-fuckin’-Pooh,” Barnes concludes.

Sam sits down on the recliner and laughs. “I’m kinda with you on that one,” he says. “I really am.”

“That is just a crime against humanity,” Barnes says. “I mean, I’d take it over the shit Hydra was doing to me, but…”

“Do me a favor guys,” says Sam. “I wanna be there when you tell Tony that you feel the same way about Pooh-bear as he feels about Barney.”

“Who’s Barney?”

Sam pulls his head back enough to be able to look down his nose at each of his new buddies in turn. He shakes his head sadly. “Trust me, gentlemen, you are not psychologically prepared for Barney.”

**Author's Note:**

> Because I am late to absolutely every party, I didn't get to submit my "the supersoldiers hate A.A. Milne" idea to the "official" Bland Marvel Headcanon site. So you get it instead. Aren't you lucky.


End file.
